Deep Roast

Scene 2

Rocky Mountain Fur Con | 2015

Rin

Sloan

Hex Harper

Joe

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Deep Roast Scene 2

Written by Carrizo

Deep Roast

Scene 2

Written by Carrizo

Archived at Furrywood.com

Project Premise

Comedy

When a struggling rat from Long Island gets word that his Puget Sound uncle has passed away, he finds himself inheriting a local coffee house in a wealthy suburb of Seattle. Encouraged by his mob connections to rake in that high tech cash, he tries managing the shop, but finds his New York style doesn’t always fit with Washington coffee culture.

Sloan Gnu

Joe Palm Civet

                                                        Sloan                                                    

                                                        Good morning, how...                                                    

                                                        Joe                                                    

                                                        Do you repair windshields?                                                    

                                                        Sloan                                                    

                                                        You might need a glass company.                                                    

                                                        Joe                                                    

                                                        No, no, I mean installing them.                                                    

                                                        Sloan                                                    

                                                        Oh, yeah, our mechanics can do that. Could I have your license plate number, please?                                                    

                                                        Joe                                                    

                                                        S-N-I-F-F-M-E                                                    

                                                        Sloan                                                    

                                                        Your car was in yesterday.                                                    

                                                        Joe                                                    

                                                        Yeah, I know.                                                    

                                                        Sloan                                                    

                                                        You had the windshield removed?                                                    

                                                        Joe                                                    

                                                        No, no. I didn't. My boyfriend did.                                                    

                                                        Sloan                                                    

                                                        Oh, right, the labrador.                                                    

                                                        Joe                                                    

                                                        Oh, right, the labrador. It's my car, all right? So I'd appreciate it if you'd contact me before any major service like, oh, I don't know, stripping the windshield off my car.                                                    

                                                        Sloan                                                    

                                                        You picked that license plate?                                                    

                                                        Joe                                                    

                                                        I got it before I met him! Do you still have the windshield?                                                    

                                                        Sloan                                                    

                                                        No, we threw it out last night.                                                    

                                                        Joe                                                    

                                                        What? What did you do that for?                                                    

                                                        Sloan                                                    

                                                        Well, it's a safety concern. See, our lead mechanic is a sparrow...                                                    

                                                        Joe                                                    

                                                        How much to get it replaced?                                                    

                                                        Sloan                                                    

                                                        With the new windshield made, labor costs, looking at about twelve hundred.                                                    

                                                        Joe                                                    

                                                        Oh, he is dead. How long?                                                    

                                                        Sloan                                                    

                                                        Four hours. You can have a cup of coffee in our lobby.                                                    

                                                        Joe                                                    

                                                        Oh, trust me, I've had too much of that already.                                                    

                                                        Sloan                                                    

                                                        [PAUSE] Bathroom's that way.                                                    

                                                        Joe                                                    

                                                        Shut up!

For Your Health

Scene 1

Rocky Mountain Fur Con | 2015

Wolfe_Guardian

Officer

K Fox

Danny

Save

For Your Health Scene 1

Written by Carrizo

For Your Health

Scene 1

Written by Carrizo

Archived at Furrywood.com

Project Premise

Action Comedy

On a vacation through South America, Danny, an American fox nutritionist, accidentally gets lost in the civil-war ravaged nation of Cordoba. But before he can get out, he discovers an undiscovered fruit with the health benefits of Açaí, aguaje, yumanasa, and applesauce rolled into one. When he tries to smuggle the special fruit out of the country, though, he learns from the military it's not for export.

Scene Description

A Cordoba military officer has captured Danny and has him strapped to a chair in an interrogation room.

Officer Kinkajou

Danny Fox

                                                        Officer                                                    

                                                        Do you know what we do to thieves in Cordoba, señor?                                                    

                                                        Danny                                                    

                                                        Apologize, let them go and offer them a discount on the gift shop steak knives?                                                    

                                                        Officer                                                    

                                                        There are knives involved.                                                    

                                                        Danny                                                    

                                                        You're going to kill me, aren't you?                                                    

                                                        Officer                                                    

                                                        Si. But first, why is a little American fox trying to steal jujuwava fruit from our orchards?                                                    

                                                        Danny                                                    

                                                        Look, sir, I am so sorry about being any trouble to you at all, but I swear on my mother's grave—if she were dead, that I have no idea what ju-va-wa-wa fruit is. Or what you are. What the heck are you?                                                    

                                                        Officer                                                    

                                                        I'm a kinkajou, señor.                                                    

                                                        Danny                                                    

                                                        Gesundheit.                                                    

                                                        Officer                                                    

                                                        No, a kinkajou.                                                    

                                                        Danny                                                    

                                                        A what?                                                    

                                                        Officer                                                    

                                                        A kinkajou!                                                    

                                                        Danny                                                    

                                                        A kick-a-jew?                                                    

                                                        Officer                                                    

                                                        The knives!                                                    

                                                        SFX                                                    

                                                        [BIG KNIFE DRAWN FROM A SHEATH]                                                    

                                                        Danny                                                    

                                                        Oh shit!

A Sow's Ear

Scene 1

Biggest Little Fur Con | 2015

Fraddas

Brooke

Treyn

Richmond

Save

A Sow's Ear Scene 1

Written by Carrizo

A Sow's Ear

Scene 1

Written by Carrizo

Archived at Furrywood.com

Artwork by Pac

Project Premise

Wall Street Drama

Brooke grew up in the grinding poverty many ferals endure in a domestic-biased society, but the wolf fought his way to an MBA and a job as a loan officer in one of the nation's biggest banks. Richmond is from a long line of powerful horses in the financial sector, more interested in protecting an upcoming merger than social work.

Brooke Wolf

Richmond Horse

                                                        Brooke                                                    

                                                        We need to talk.                                                    

                                                        Richmond                                                    

                                                        It can wait.                                                    

                                                        Brooke                                                    

                                                        I just spoke with Taylor down in finance. Why didn't you sign the Farrell loan?                                                    

                                                        Richmond                                                    

                                                        Really?                                                    

                                                        Brooke                                                    

                                                        They met every requirement. I vetted them down to every line of our policy.                                                    

                                                        Richmond                                                    

                                                        Well, then. I must have found an issue outside of our policy.                                                    

                                                        Brooke                                                    

                                                        It's because they're coyotes. Isn't it?                                                    

                                                        Richmond                                                    

                                                        Look here, Brooke.                                                    

                                                        Brooke                                                    

                                                        I'm sick of this high-and-mighty, domesticated bullshit, Richmond. They deserved that loan.                                                    

                                                        Richmond                                                    

                                                        No, I said look here. What do you see?                                                    

                                                        Brooke                                                    

                                                        A fucking speciest horse.                                                    

                                                        Richmond                                                    

                                                        On my head, yellow-eyes.                                                    

                                                        Brooke                                                    

                                                        What? What are you getting at? That white patch?                                                    

                                                        Richmond                                                    

                                                        It's not a white patch, Brooke. It's my halo.                                                    

                                                        Brooke                                                    

                                                        Christ, you're worse than I thought.                                                    

                                                        Richmond                                                    

                                                        You ever notice how only domestics have these? How every time a furry manages to graduate from his feral savageries, a splash of white appears on their heads? It's nature's halo.                                                    

                                                        Brooke                                                    

                                                        What does that have to do with anything?                                                    

                                                        Richmond                                                    

                                                        It's why I didn't sign the Farrell loan. How can we trust our money with anyone who doesn't have a halo?

Top Dog

Scene 1

Biggest Little Fur Con | 2015

Starseeker

Kevin

SlyKnux

Foo-Foo

Save

Top Dog Scene 1

Written by Carrizo

Top Dog

Scene 1

Written by Carrizo

Archived at Furrywood.com

Artwork by Pac

Project Premise

Comedy

Foo-Foo was the top supermodel in the furry world throughout the 80's. Now retired, she's turned her millions into billions with a series of brilliant investments and an aggressive entry into finances and manufacturing. But will she be able to overcome the view of her as a ditzy model as she makes a run for her biggest corporate takeover yet?

Kevin Dalmatian

Foo-Foo American Eskimo Dog

                                                        Kevin                                                    

                                                        Miss Foo-Foo? I'm sorry to bother.                                                    

                                                        Foo-Foo                                                    

                                                        You have no idea.                                                    

                                                        Kevin                                                    

                                                        Do you have a moment?                                                    

                                                        Foo-Foo                                                    

                                                        Look, I don't know who you are, but you had the gall to stop me, so you must be important. You have five seconds to prove it.                                                    

                                                        Kevin                                                    

                                                        Oh, I'm sorry. I'm Kevin Sanders, your new assistant.                                                    

                                                        Foo-Foo                                                    

                                                        First test passed. Walk and talk.                                                    

                                                        Kevin                                                    

                                                        Uh, sure. So, just wanted to make sure I introduced myself. And see if I could start on anything for you.                                                    

                                                        Foo-Foo                                                    

                                                        Well, so much for the second test.                                                    

                                                        Kevin                                                    

                                                        I'm actually really excited to be working for you, Miss Foo-Foo. I'm a huge fan of your work.                                                    

                                                        Foo-Foo                                                    

                                                        You must be joking. [PAUSE] How old are you?                                                    

                                                        Kevin                                                    

                                                        Uh. Nineteen, Miss Foo-Foo.                                                    

                                                        Foo-Foo                                                    

                                                        Good Lord. Your father was too young to buy my covers.                                                    

                                                        Kevin                                                    

                                                        Oh, no, no, I'm a big fan of classic magazines. I've got a huge collection.                                                    

                                                        Foo-Foo                                                    

                                                        Classic, you call it?                                                    

                                                        Kevin                                                    

                                                        I mean—                                                    

                                                        Foo-Foo                                                    

                                                        Oh, don't bother. Get down to my office right away and be ready. I'll be down in ten minutes. And I expect you to be productive by the time I'm down there. Understood?                                                    

                                                        Kevin                                                    

                                                        Yes, of course, Miss Foo-Foo, thank you!

The Jackal and the Ostrich

Scene 3

Biggest Little Fur Con | 2015

SlyKnux

Lorne

Scy Storm

Cherry

Save

The Jackal and the Ostrich Scene 3

Written by Carrizo

The Jackal and the Ostrich

Scene 3

Written by Carrizo

Archived at Furrywood.com

Artwork by Pac

Project Premise

Spy Thriller

In the war on terror, a bold new enemy has risen. Jackal and Ostrich are the codenames for a pair of bold terrorists that have attacked some of the most senstive targets in the Middle East, drawing international attention. But while their attacks have been bold, their motives have been less clear, with the top agents from many nations trying to figure out their next move, struggling to see what will become their most unexpected challenge yet.

Lorne Porcupine

Cherry Hawk

                                                        Lorne                                                    

                                                        Damndest thing, isn't it?                                                    

                                                        Cherry                                                    

                                                        What?                                                    

                                                        Lorne                                                    

                                                        Medicine. In every tip.                                                    

                                                        Cherry                                                    

                                                        What are you talking about?                                                    

                                                        Lorne                                                    

                                                        See, no one gets poked more than the porcupine himself. So, scientists say after ages of slipping on ice and landing on our backs, the quills got medicated so they wouldn't infect us.                                                    

                                                        Cherry                                                    

                                                        Why are you telling me this?                                                    

                                                        Lorne                                                    

                                                        Because I think they're wrong. It wasn't to protect the porcupine. Infection just kills the tissue. But, see, a quill keeps the nerves alive. Makes the other guy feel every little hook digging deeper and deeper and deeper.                                                    

                                                        Cherry                                                    

                                                        Who are you?                                                    

                                                        Lorne                                                    

                                                        Nothing yet. But I am about to be your clearest, most life-changing memory.                                                    

                                                        Cherry                                                    

                                                        You work for Jackal?                                                    

                                                        Lorne                                                    

                                                        Little birdies don't ask questions.                                                    

                                                        SFX                                                    

                                                        [DRAWER FULL OF STEEL INSTRUMENTS OPENING]                                                    

                                                        Cherry                                                    

                                                        Oh, Christ.                                                    

                                                        Lorne                                                    

                                                        They answer them.                                                    

                                                        Cherry                                                    

                                                        Wait. Wait, wait, I don't understand. What am I supposed to tell you? What do you think I know? What do you want?                                                    

                                                        Lorne                                                    

                                                        Me? Nothing. Ostrich? Much.                                                    

                                                        Cherry                                                    

                                                        You know who Ostrich is?                                                    

                                                        Lorne                                                    

                                                        You don't listen very well.                                                    

                                                        Cherry                                                    

                                                        [SCREAMS IN PAIN]

Swamphoof

Scene 2

Biggest Little Fur Con | 2015

Luxfonjade

Runson

Twix

Colette

Save

Swamphoof Scene 2

Written by Carrizo

Swamphoof

Scene 2

Written by Carrizo

Archived at Furrywood.com

Artwork by Pac

Project Premise

Dramatic Thriller

The dams may have given the city its water supply, but it also flooded the farms, turning good fields into worthless swamp. Of course, the city hoofers never did care much for the country, leaving the now out-of-work horses, donkeys and cattle to fend for themselves. While most just made the best of it, one donkey's ambition led him to stealing goods from the city, a major crime that made him a lot of enemies. But also the loyalty of Colette, his mare girlfriend, who hid him in the swamp after his bold escape from jail. Now with the swamp sheriff smelling an opportunity at some fat reward money, it's a fight to hide the longear as long as she can.

Runson Mule

Colette Horse

                                                        Runson                                                    

                                                        Miss Colette. Real nice to see you.                                                    

                                                        Colette                                                    

                                                        Runson, how you been?                                                    

                                                        Runson                                                    

                                                        Getting better, I reckon. What brings you by?                                                    

                                                        Colette                                                    

                                                        Well, I was wondering if you might lend me a hoof.                                                    

                                                        Runson                                                    

                                                        Of course, Miss! What you need?                                                    

                                                        Colette                                                    

                                                        Now I hear tell the sheriff comes in every morning for his coffee. That right?                                                    

                                                        Runson                                                    

                                                        He sure do, Miss. Pour it for him myself.                                                    

                                                        Colette                                                    

                                                        Well, ain't that perfect. Got a little something I'd like you to add to tomorrow's cup.                                                    

                                                        Runson                                                    

                                                        You mean without him knowing?                                                    

                                                        Colette                                                    

                                                        I don't care what no one says, you're smart as a whip, Runson, you know that?                                                    

                                                        Runson                                                    

                                                        I don't want to get in no trouble, Miss.                                                    

                                                        Colette                                                    

                                                        You won't, hon. [PAUSE] Oh, look at those eyes. You got the biggest heart in the swamp, Runson, you know that?                                                    

                                                        Runson                                                    

                                                        Thank you, Miss.                                                    

                                                        Colette                                                    

                                                        You don't get much attention, do you? Such a shame, handsome mule like yourself. Got a lot to offer a mare, don't you?                                                    

                                                        Runson                                                    

                                                        Yes, Miss. Well, not everything.                                                    

                                                        Colette                                                    

                                                        I'll make you a deal, Runson. Got a friend the next town over would just love to meet a big, strong mule like you. You slip this into sheriff's drink, I'll make sure she comes by.                                                    

                                                        Runson                                                    

                                                        She pretty, Miss?                                                    

                                                        Colette                                                    

                                                        As pretty as you can dream, hon.

Idle Paws

Scene 1

Biggest Little Fur Con | 2015

Nikitty

Johansen

Scy Storm

Walter

Save

Idle Paws Scene 1

Written by Tazel Sixpaws

Idle Paws

Scene 1

Written by Tazel Sixpaws

Archived at Furrywood.com

Artwork by Pac

Project Premise

Horror Thriller

Fired from his stock broker job due to stress, Walter Benswar finds the opposite problem of being unemployed and stir crazy while waiting for employment. He begins to question his sanity when he starts hallucinating his apartment neighbors dying in gruesome ways, and not being able to tell if he was committing the murders in a stupor of ennui. Until he hallucinates his OWN death.

Johansen Giraffe

Walter Husky

                                                        Johansen                                                    

                                                        Walter, can you hear me?                                                    

                                                        Walter                                                    

                                                        Yes, doctor.                                                    

                                                        Johansen                                                    

                                                        I'm not a doctor, but I am a psychologist. I'm here to talk about your—                                                    

                                                        Walter                                                    

                                                        —hallucinations. Yes sir. I'd like them to go away, please.                                                    

                                                        Johansen                                                    

                                                        Of course. Before I do, though—your file says you are a stock broker?                                                    

                                                        Walter                                                    

                                                        Was. I got fired cause I couldn't take the strain.                                                    

                                                        Johansen                                                    

                                                        And what have you been doing since then?                                                    

                                                        Walter                                                    

                                                        Nothing. Trying to get a job, but nobody will touch my resume.                                                    

                                                        Johansen                                                    

                                                        So you spend your time at home, doing what, exactly?                                                    

                                                        Walter                                                    

                                                        Anything to keep my mind from going.                                                    

                                                        Johansen                                                    

                                                        [PAUSE] These delusions—these are not things that happened, Walter. Your neighbor isn't dead.                                                    

                                                        Walter                                                    

                                                        It'll happen though. I've seen it. Lopped her tail off, and cleaved her head with the machete.                                                    

                                                        Johansen                                                    

                                                        Why do you think your delusion is so specific?                                                    

                                                        Walter                                                    

                                                        [PAUSE] Because it's the only thing I can think about that keeps my mind from going.

Djinn, No Chaser

Scene 1

Biggest Little Fur Con | 2015

Goldfish

Grizzold

Trick

Djingo

Save

Djinn, No Chaser Scene 1

Written by Tazel Sixpaws

Djinn, No Chaser

Scene 1

Written by Tazel Sixpaws

Archived at Furrywood.com

Artwork by Pac

Project Premise

Fantasy Comedy

Prominent antique collector Theodore Grizzold happens upon the ever cliche 'Genie in the lamp' - an eager to please wombat wanting to grant his wishes. The unimaginative collector only wants to be left alone, so he wishes for the djinn to be free. But the genie is relentless in wanting to help by granting his every errantly made wish.

Grizzold Cat

Djingo Wombat

                                                        Grizzold                                                    

                                                        For the last time, go back to your lamp, please? I'm almost late, and Serrano's won't hold our reservation!                                                    

                                                        Djingo                                                    

                                                        Oooh! You have a date! With that palomino at the auction house?                                                    

                                                        Grizzold                                                    

                                                        Wha...How did you...                                                    

                                                        Djingo                                                    

                                                        I was in the lamp, listening when you called her! What's her name?                                                    

                                                        Grizzold                                                    

                                                        It's Gertrude.                                                    

                                                        Djingo                                                    

                                                        Gertrude, huh? She sounds... um.. lovely..ish?                                                    

                                                        Grizzold                                                    

                                                        Oh, she's beautiful! Long, slender face, cute flicking ears, long lush tail, and a figure to die for. I wish I could make her crazy for me, but that's something to...                                                    

                                                        Djingo                                                    

                                                        Hey! I can do that! I can help make you irresistable to her!                                                    

                                                        Grizzold                                                    

                                                        Oh no no no no! I don't need or WANT your help! I can impress her quite fine by myself!                                                    

                                                        Djingo                                                    

                                                        Oh don't be such a sandypants! Here we gooo!                                                    

                                                        Grizzold                                                    

                                                        NO NO NO N...                                                    

                                                        Djingo                                                    

                                                        How's that Theo! Theo? OH.... oh no... um... yeah, sorry, turning you into a bunch of carrots wasn't what I had in mind. I'll have you back in a snap! Er... or maybe two snaps. Dang, what was that gesture I used...

The Blur Effect

Scene 1

Biggest Little Fur Con | 2015

Savic

Blur

Watcher Rat

Volgas

Save

The Blur Effect Scene 1

Written by Tazel Sixpaws

The Blur Effect

Scene 1

Written by Tazel Sixpaws

Archived at Furrywood.com

Artwork by Pac

Project Premise

Superhero Film

Gary Halloworth, aka ‘Blur', is a superpowered speedy cheetah from a long line of family heroes, but the untimely loss of his parents early in his life and his inexperience has caused him to lose more battles for good than he's won. Teamed up with the fellow heroes of the Freedom Force, he's desperate to prove himself to everyone. When Volgas, the evil mindbender sloth, begins a plot to control people through their electronics, Blur finds himself relying on others out of necessity to save the day.

Blur Cheetah

Volgas Sloth

                                                        Blur                                                    

                                                        Alright, Volgas, you've caught me. Just know, we'll never give up as long as we're saving the lives you endanger!                                                    

                                                        Volgas                                                    

                                                        Me? My dear Blur, you've got it backwards! It is you heroes who are endangering them!                                                    

                                                        Blur                                                    

                                                        What are you talking about?                                                    

                                                        Volgas                                                    

                                                        My plans involve a peaceful, quiet subversion of the public's will! By fighting me, you force me to battle! In public! With potential casualties!                                                    

                                                        Blur                                                    

                                                        But you're hurting the ones you want to control!                                                    

                                                        Volgas                                                    

                                                        Wrong again, cheetah. The herds out there are hurting each other with crimes and violence against their fellow furs. I'm saving them from themselves!                                                    

                                                        Blur                                                    

                                                        You're insane, Volgas! The Freedom Force and I won't allow this to go on!                                                    

                                                        Volgas                                                    

                                                        [LAUGHS] The others are already beaten. They just don't know it yet. And I'm afraid you will be too busy dying to do anything about it! Start the machine!                                                    

                                                        Blur                                                    

                                                        AAAGH! What is this stuff?                                                    

                                                        Volgas                                                    

                                                        A speedster cheetah brought down by a superior sloth by drowning in quicksand. It is irony, my doomed friend! Delicious irony. [LAUGHTER]

Dialogues

Showing 226-234 of 554 dialogue recordings

Deep Roast

For Your Health

A Sow's Ear

Top Dog

The Jackal and the Ostrich

Swamphoof

Idle Paws

Djinn, No Chaser

The Blur Effect