The Second Pig War

Scene 1

Furry Fiesta | 2017

Ogre

Wall

Jest Aries

Gagnon

Save

The Second Pig War Scene 1

Written by Carrizo

The Second Pig War

Scene 1

Written by Carrizo

Archived at Furrywood.com

Artwork by Rhandi Fisher

Project Premise

Screwball Comedy

Roger Gagnon is a humble Canadian moose happily supporting his wife and two calves with a good job selling oil equipment over the border. But when the United States elects a brash, unstable, immigrant-hating pig as their next President, things rapidly change. Now a simple business trip will turn into a insane, politically-fueled war between the richest nation on Earth and one lone moose just trying to get back to his family.

Scene Description

Gagnon has traveled by train across the American border hundreds of times, and it's all been quite rote. Until today. In his first trip since the new President's anti-immigration orders, the unlucky moose encounters an American pig immigrations officer all too ready to enforce the new laws as he sees fit.

Wall Pig

Gagnon Moose

                                                        Wall                                                    

                                                        Oh, here we go. [INTO RADIO] Station 4. Got one. Need backup.                                                    

                                                        Gagnon                                                    

                                                        [PAUSE] Is something wrong?                                                    

                                                        Wall                                                    

                                                        Sir, just please, relax. Try to stay calm. Just do what I tell you, and no one will get hurt. Now just hand me your passport. Slowly.                                                    

                                                        Gagnon                                                    

                                                        I am calm.                                                    

                                                        Wall                                                    

                                                        [LOOKS AT PASSPORT] Mr. Gag-Non, are you seeking asylum in the United States?                                                    

                                                        Gagnon                                                    

                                                        Gagnon. And no, I work there.                                                    

                                                        Wall                                                    

                                                        What kind of physician are you?                                                    

                                                        Gagnon                                                    

                                                        What? Physician? I’m not a physician.                                                    

                                                        Wall                                                    

                                                        Well, you’re certainly not a hat, either, sir. Is this passport some kind of joke?                                                    

                                                        Gagnon                                                    

                                                        [PAUSE] That’s not my job. That’s where I live.                                                    

                                                        Wall                                                    

                                                        You live in a hat.                                                    

                                                        Gagnon                                                    

                                                        It’s a city. In Alberta.                                                    

                                                        Wall                                                    

                                                        Al Berta?                                                    

                                                        Gagnon                                                    

                                                        Without the pause.                                                    

                                                        Wall                                                    

                                                        Is that at all affiliated with Al Qaeda?                                                    

                                                        Gagnon                                                    

                                                        [LONG PAUSE] No. I told you, I work in the States. I make this trip all the time. How could such a hoser pig be working the border?                                                    

                                                        Wall                                                    

                                                        [INTO RADIO] Subject is becoming hostile. [TO GAGNON] Sir, new immigration policies in the United States have required the hiring of additional personnel. We take pride in being the last line of defense against potentially dangerous foreign nationals.                                                    

                                                        Gagnon                                                    

                                                        I’m a moose! I’m only dangerous if you hit me with a car!                                                    

                                                        Wall                                                    

                                                        If you’re not a physician, what business are you in, sir?                                                    

                                                        Gagnon                                                    

                                                        Oil. [PAUSE] Energy!                                                    

                                                        Wall                                                    

                                                        All right, Shiek Gag-Non, please step out of line.                                                    

                                                        Gagnon                                                    

                                                        Gagnon! Look, I’m a Canadian citizen. I have a visa to work in the States. Why are you hassling me like this?                                                    

                                                        Wall                                                    

                                                        New executive orders from the President, sir. Your kind are no longer welcome into our country.                                                    

                                                        Gagnon                                                    

                                                        What do you mean, “my kind”? Canadians?                                                    

                                                        Wall                                                    

                                                        Moose and lambs.                                                    

                                                        Gagnon                                                    

                                                        What?                                                    

                                                        Wall                                                    

                                                        There is a 120 day ban on any moose/lambs entering our country. Please step over here.                                                    

                                                        Gagnon                                                    

                                                        Wait a minute. You’ve got to be kidding me. Are you serious?                                                    

                                                        Wall                                                    

                                                        Please enter the interrogation room.                                                    

                                                        Gagnon                                                    

                                                        I can’t fit in there.                                                    

                                                        Wall                                                    

                                                        Then we’ll do it here.                                                    

                                                        Gagnon                                                    

                                                        Do what?                                                    

                                                        SFX                                                    

                                                        [RUBBER GLOVE SNAPPING]

Arizuma

Scene 2

Furry Fiesta | 2016

Ogre

Milton

Kaida

Caroline

Save

Arizuma Scene 2

Written by Carrizo

Arizuma

Scene 2

Written by Carrizo

Archived at Furrywood.com

Project Premise

Fantasy Adventure

When the drought runs too long, a village of coyotes grows desperate. An old coyote cry says a gift of silver and turquoise brought to the top of Arizuma mountain will bring skywater. Carol is the only adult without pups, so she reluctantly takes on the challenge to climb the mountain with the village's last riches. She understands little about the old magic she's tasked to summon, leaving her having to trust the absent-minded and disconnected ringtail who joins her on her journey.

Scene Description

Milton has learned he can't convince Caroline not to take her silver to the top of Arizuma mountain. So he figures if the world is going to end, he might as well tag along for it. That leaves the grounded Caroline with the silly ringtail in tow, a reluctant pair, but the only partner she has on the lonely mountain. This scene opens with the pair taking a rest, and Milton trying to liven up the mood by showing off his impressive tail-juggling.

Milton Ringtail

Caroline Coyote

                                                        Milton                                                    

                                                        Ta-da!                                                    

                                                        Caroline                                                    

                                                        [LAUGHING] Where did you learn to do that?                                                    

                                                        Milton                                                    

                                                        I taught it to myself! It’s a spiritual exercise.                                                    

                                                        Caroline                                                    

                                                        You’re kidding.                                                    

                                                        Milton                                                    

                                                        It teaches focus. When you’re tail-juggling, the only thing you’re thinking about is tail-juggling. Stress, worry, fears, it all just vanishes into the air.                                                    

                                                        Caroline                                                    

                                                        Obligations?                                                    

                                                        Milton                                                    

                                                        Yeah, those too! [PAUSE] So, how come you’re here anyway?                                                    

                                                        Caroline                                                    

                                                        You already know why I’m here.                                                    

                                                        Milton                                                    

                                                        Yeah, I know about the mission to end the world, drown us all in Gila Dragon tears. Blah blah. But why you?                                                    

                                                        Caroline                                                    

                                                        What do you mean?                                                    

                                                        Milton                                                    

                                                        Well, there’s lots of coyotes on the playa. And this mission sounds serious. Seems strange they only sent one.                                                    

                                                        Caroline                                                    

                                                        It’s none of your business.                                                    

                                                        Milton                                                    

                                                        I won’t blab! Tell you what, I’ll go first. I’m here because the spirits of Arizuma mountain called me.                                                    

                                                        Caroline                                                    

                                                        Called you.                                                    

                                                        Milton                                                    

                                                        Yup! My spirit guide told me. My training was supposed to be three years, but just a couple months in, he said the spirits told him I had a greater destiny elsewhere.                                                    

                                                        Caroline                                                    

                                                        Wait a minute. You’re not from here?                                                    

                                                        Milton                                                    

                                                        Well, not originally. I’m from the playa as well. But I obeyed the spirits and made my home in Arizuma mountain bringing spiritual guidance to natives and travelers.                                                    

                                                        Caroline                                                    

                                                        [PAUSE] How many have you guided?                                                    

                                                        Milton                                                    

                                                        You're my first! The first that could talk, anyway. Giving spiritual advice to cactus is really boring, let me tell you. And mountain balls are jerks.                                                    

                                                        Caroline                                                    

                                                        [PAUSE] How long have you lived here?                                                    

                                                        Milton                                                    

                                                        Two years.                                                    

                                                        Caroline                                                    

                                                        [PAUSE] Milton. Did it ever occur to you that your spirit guide got it wrong?                                                    

                                                        Milton                                                    

                                                        [PAUSE] How about another tail-juggle?

The Wanderers

Scene 1

Furry Fiesta | 2016

Corvus

Jinix

Ogre

Horgrath

Save

The Wanderers Scene 1

Written by Tazel Sixpaws

The Wanderers

Scene 1

Written by Tazel Sixpaws

Archived at Furrywood.com

Project Premise

Sci-Fi Epic

In a distant solar system, a group of tree-living astronauts were sent out on a mission to find another inhabitable planet for their arboreal way of life. When they returned, they found their planet obliterated. Stranded, the team tries desperately to piece together clues of what happened, and more importantly, find any remnant of their civilization. Low on resources, the crew's odyssey finds them battling despair, mutiny, and dwindling chances of survival. Can they find their home, in a new world, before their search destroys them?

Scene Description

The destruction of their homeworld still fresh in their minds, the crew of the Canopy have been trying in vain to find a place to land, to at least establish a temporary base while Captain Gorin Horgrath plans the next move. It's been thirteen sun-cycles (days) since the Canopy has been able to spot a planet to land, and worse yet, their thrusters have been damaged by a recent asteroid colllision. The captain has called in Mijon Jinix, the chief ship engineer, to discuss the engine situation, and the two get into a heated discussion about the viability of Horgrath's plan.

Jinix Squirrel

Horgrath Lemur

                                                        Jinix                                                    

                                                        Reporting as ordered, “Captain”.                                                    

                                                        Horgrath                                                    

                                                        I know what you're going to say, Lieutenant. Save your breath.                                                    

                                                        Jinix                                                    

                                                        You don't want to hear about our nearly obliterated thruster modules?                                                    

                                                        Horgrath                                                    

                                                        Jinix, do you have ANY good news to share with me at all?                                                    

                                                        Jinix                                                    

                                                        I don't do good news, Horgrath.                                                    

                                                        Horgrath                                                    

                                                        That's CAPTAIN to you! Just tell me you can fix them!                                                    

                                                        Jinix                                                    

                                                        Not without ionic metalloids. So what now, 'leader'?                                                    

                                                        Horgrath                                                    

                                                        Hmm - we have inertia from our last boost carrying us for now. If we need to, you can strip out one of the food producer grids to give you metal for your thrusters. Should last about five sun cycles..                                                    

                                                        Jinix                                                    

                                                        Wait - you're taking away our FOOD?                                                    

                                                        Horgrath                                                    

                                                        I'd rather be able to land and scavenge. We can last a whole moon-risefall without food. We'll use that as a last resort.                                                    

                                                        Jinix                                                    

                                                        You've doomed us, Horgrath! We're NOT going to find another habitable planet,and you know it!                                                    

                                                        Horgrath                                                    

                                                        Stow your muzzle, Lieutenant, or I'll have your fuzzy tail thrown in the brig!                                                    

                                                        Jinix                                                    

                                                        Yeah? And who will fix your precious thrusters then? Nobody knows them better than me!                                                    

                                                        Horgrath                                                    

                                                        I'LL do it if I have to! I'm not going to let my team start panicking, and if that means locking you up to prevent a riot, make no mistake I WILL!                                                    

                                                        Jinix                                                    

                                                        You do, and it'll be the last mistake you make, “Captain”.                                                    

                                                        Horgrath                                                    

                                                        If I can keep us alive, then it's worth every bad decision I've ever made. Including promoting you. Dismissed, “Lieutenant”!

The Tale of Sir Render

Scene 1

Furry Fiesta | 2016

Ogre

Tencapp

Mint Mocha

Render

Save

The Tale of Sir Render Scene 1

Written by Tazel Sixpaws

The Tale of Sir Render

Scene 1

Written by Tazel Sixpaws

Archived at Furrywood.com

Project Premise

Fantasy Comedy

Gather ye around, and let me spin the tale of the Mighty Sir Render, the boar knight who singlehandedly ran away from every battle he ever faced, at whom cowards scoff and birds excrement upon! And tell also the tale of the fair Maiden Tiewahn, the exotic red panda princess whose hand in marriage he so desired, but could only attain if he proved his courage! It is a short story, alas...

Scene Description

Sir Render is approaching the captain of the city guard to apply for the bounty to slay a nearby beast who is ravaging the town livestock, in hopes of winning the confidence of the princess. The captain is not impressed and suggests an easier task for the known coward.

Tencapp Badger

Render Boar

                                                        Render                                                    

                                                        Captain Tencapp! I'm here to apply to slay the livestock menace!                                                    

                                                        Tencapp                                                    

                                                        Oh, Render, that's the best laugh I've had all day! No, seriously, why are you wasting my time?                                                    

                                                        Render                                                    

                                                        I am as serious as an angry chicken, my good badger! I WILL defeat it!                                                    

                                                        Tencapp                                                    

                                                        Render, why would you want something so dangerous, when there are needs more relevant to your `skillset'? Like fighting silkworms?                                                    

                                                        Render                                                    

                                                        Because I am going to win the heart of the princess! And no better way than to slay the beast causing our farms such distress! Even though cows terrify me!                                                    

                                                        Tencapp                                                    

                                                        By Duke Faldar's unwashed beard, I believe you ARE serious! One seriously deluded boar!! Bring back some silkworms and we'll talk, if you don't run away screaming first!                                                    

                                                        Render                                                    

                                                        Sir! This is unjust! The law says ANYONE can apply! I have as much right as you do to try!                                                    

                                                        Tencapp                                                    

                                                        Grr! Fine. Go ahead. Get your fool head crushed under the beast's jaws. See if I care! Anything ELSE?                                                    

                                                        Render                                                    

                                                        Actually, yes. The beggar children have been throwing rocks at me and laughing at me again. I wish to lodge another complaint.                                                    

                                                        Tencapp                                                    

                                                        Well, the tenth one IS a freebie.

Flash Paper

Scene 1

Furry Fiesta | 2015

Smokescale

Michaels

Ogre

Lloyd

Save

Flash Paper Scene 1

Written by Tazel Sixpaws

Flash Paper

Scene 1

Written by Tazel Sixpaws

Archived at Furrywood.com

Artwork by Pac

Project Premise

Action Drama

Lloyd, turtle sergeant of Fire Station Precinct 66, loses his young fennec partner Danny Michaels during an attempt to rescue a family after a fire. Upon the death of the rookie, Strauss delves into a depression fraught with alcohol and feelings of suicide. It's up to his friends, coworkers, and even the spirit of his dead friend to pull him out of the vicious vortex, and get him back to the front lines to continue the needed work.

Michaels Fennec

Lloyd Turtle

                                                        Michaels                                                    

                                                        I'm going back in, Lloyd.                                                    

                                                        Lloyd                                                    

                                                        No, Michaels, you’re not! It's too hot in there. Wait for the vent team!                                                    

                                                        Michaels                                                    

                                                        Screw that! Fennecs can take the heat, and your shell will hold! There's another family in there, for Christ's sake!                                                    

                                                        Lloyd                                                    

                                                        I know, but it’s too dangerous in there! That roof could open up any second!                                                    

                                                        Michaels                                                    

                                                        They're dying in there, and we’re the only ones who can get them! What if it was YOUR family?                                                    

                                                        Lloyd                                                    

                                                        We don’t need any more victims, Danny!                                                    

                                                        Michaels                                                    

                                                        We can’t just stand here!                                                    

                                                        Lloyd                                                    

                                                        [IN RADIO] 5585 to vent team. Vent team, hurry the hell up, we need to get boots and eyes inside, how long till- [OFF RADIO] Michaels! What the hell are you doing? [PAUSE] Oh, Christ.                                                    

                                                        Michaels                                                    

                                                        [FUTZ] Lloyd, I’ve found two kids! I’m pulling them out now. [PAUSE] Heading back!                                                    

                                                        Lloyd                                                    

                                                        [IN RADIO] 5585 to command, emergency traffic only! Emergency traffic only! Michaels, you crazy fox, hurry up! Get out of there now!                                                    

                                                        Radio                                                    

                                                        [FUTZ] Vent team to 5585, we already cut D wall!                                                    

                                                        Lloyd                                                    

                                                        Oh, shit... [IN RADIO] Michaels! Stay where you are! Repeat, stay where you are! Hold to the C wall! They’re venting D! Do NOT come back!                                                    

                                                        Michaels                                                    

                                                        [FUTZ] AAAGGH! Oh, God! Mayday! Mayday! Lloyd!                                                    

                                                        Lloyd                                                    

                                                        Danny! Danny, answer me! Danny!!!

Swift

Scene 2

Furry Fiesta | 2013

ShadowFlare06

Howard

Ogre

Shane

Save

Swift Scene 2

Written by Carrizo

Swift

Scene 2

Written by Carrizo

Archived at Furrywood.com

Project Premise

Action Adventure

In a steampunk world where air travel is king, a retired border collie weapons designer tries to come to terms with having killed thousands with his inventions in a war between wolves and dogs. He finds a chance at redemption when he rescues a pair of kidnapped wolf pups and enlists the help of a pit bull pilot struggling to prove herself in a male-dominated business. Together they'll take a floating barge across the islands fighting local patrols and the remains of the bloody war to bring the wolf pups home.

Howard Doberman

Shane Red Wolf

                                                        Howard                                                    

                                                        Just remember, no one can find out about this.                                                    

                                                        Shane                                                    

                                                        Don't worry, I remember. That's why you're paying me double.                                                    

                                                        Howard                                                    

                                                        That wasn't the agreement.                                                    

                                                        Shane                                                    

                                                        Yeah? So what are you going to do about it? [PAUSE] I thought so. Come on. What you want is downstairs.                                                    

                                                        Howard                                                    

                                                        It's not easy to trust someone who changes the terms of a deal.                                                    

                                                        Shane                                                    

                                                        Well, good for me you don't have a choice.                                                    

                                                        Howard                                                    

                                                        This is why your kind lost the war, you know.                                                    

                                                        Shane                                                    

                                                        That's funny. And here I thought it was that big bomb you cooked up. [PAUSE] That's who you're going after, isn't it? The monster who made that thing?                                                    

                                                        Howard                                                    

                                                        That's none of your business.                                                    

                                                        Shane                                                    

                                                        I just made it my business. So why do you want to kill him? Worried he might use his weapon on you?                                                    

                                                        Howard                                                    

                                                        Dogs don't do that to each other.                                                    

                                                        Shane                                                    

                                                        Yeah. Wolves think that, too.                                                    

                                                        SFX                                                    

                                                        [CURTAIN LIFTED, A MONSTER SNARLS IN HIS CAGE]                                                    

                                                        Howard                                                    

                                                        Augh! What the hell is that?                                                    

                                                        Shane                                                    

                                                        Your solution! Three hundred pounds of wolf- slaughtering machine. You always wondered what was in those jungles, dog? Now you know.                                                    

                                                        Howard                                                    

                                                        Can it be controlled?                                                    

                                                        Shane                                                    

                                                        Yeah. By me. And that's why you're paying me triple.

Dialogues

Showing 1-6 of 6 dialogue recordings

The Second Pig War

Arizuma

The Wanderers

The Tale of Sir Render

Flash Paper

Swift